Space2Meditate Blog
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There Are No Atheists in Foxholes
I'm a late riser -- always been and expected I always would be. Awakening and walking about before sunrise seems almost as alien as venturing on the dark side of the moon.
Waking Up To Life When Death is Near
The practice of sitting in meditation is providing me tender support during a particularly difficult time in my family. My younger cousin, who has been living bravely with cancer for the past year and a half, has come to a crossroads in her treatment, where options seem to have run out and the cancer, which metastasized from her colon to her lungs, is growing. This scenario, the nightmare we feared from afar, is here. When that happens and fear arrives at our doorstep, what do we do? Well, this practice is showing me the way.
Walking on Middle Way
Slow down. Look around. One step at a time. Maybe that’s the heart of what happened to me on Middle Way. That’s the name of the wooden path across the vast grassy meadow at the Won Dharma Center. I crossed that expanse many times each day on the retreat. It takes perhaps four minutes of brisk walking -- but wait, slow down, one step at a time. Why was I rushing?
Retreat Murmurations
One of the goals I brought to the retreat was to see in person some of the many faces I had seen on Zoom for the last three years. Meeting them was pleasant and gratifying, and somewhat surprising, as some were taller, some were shorter than I had pictured. We took one evening meal together while talking and it was too short a time to get to know people before going into silence. I noticed immediately after silence began that the quality of my sits was different…
The Sound of Non-Silence
Upon arriving at Won Dharma, I was immediately struck by the beauty of the environment—the expansive landscape. The field dotted with the yellows and purples of wildflowers. The shadows of the Catskill Mountains on the horizon. And the sounds -- the steady hum of grasshoppers accompanied by the swell of cicadas… And on that first morning, I settled into my seat at the meditation hall. Taking in the spectacular view and the warm energy of all those gathered in practice. As the sound of the gong slowly faded into the song of the crickets and grasshoppers, I took a deep breath and sighed deeply, feeling my body soften. For a moment, peace. And then this immaculate moment was disrupted by the sputter of a cough….
Cancer and Practice
In May of this year, I was told that I have cancer in my tonsil. At that time, I fell down the well of the medical profession, with many doctor and testing appointments, taking notes, and trying to get a feel for what this meant. I felt fine, I just had a lump. My daughter said at the time that it was like being on the line for a roller-coaster, but it was behind a fence, and we couldn’t see how tall or steep it was. I believed that I was well prepared mentally and spiritually for whatever was to come. I had a good meditation practice, I had been clean and sober for more than three decades, and I had supportive friends and family. I also felt that I was as prepared for death as I was ever going to be…
The Sangha Jewel
The “Sangha,” in the narrow sense, usually represents the community of monastics who followed the historical Buddha.… There would be no living Dharma without them. And there would be no living Buddhas or Buddhas-to-be without their efforts to transmit the practices…. Yet, sangha can also be understood as a verb, as a practice, and the ineffable space between us that is neither you nor me. We can relate to our actual communities of practice as places where we can get serious glimpses of true refuge.
The Dhamma Jewel
How are the Teachings of the Buddha a protective refuge? And a refuge from what? How is it that the nature of reality, when reality can seem so harsh, can be a source of peace and shelter? Reality can seem unforgiving and unlike the way we would like things to be! Or is that our relationship to reality makes us suffer? Perhaps you noticed this intuitively in meditation, at a somatic level – that moment where the mind and body surrenders to “it’s like this right now.” A moment later, “and now it’s like this.” Ever changing, ever arising and passing.
The Buddha Jewel
Going for Refuge, or “Taking Refuge,” in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, is a way to acknowledge the protection they represent. In traditional Buddhist thought, only the Buddha (and the capacity for awakening he represents), only the Dharma (the nature of reality), and only the Aryasangha (the fully awakened disciples of the Buddha) can be relied upon. Everything else is ultimately impermanent and unreliable. Other things may offer respite or comfort, but ultimately they are provisional and will let us down, one way or another. One might object that the Buddha was a man, and as such, he too passed away. What does it mean, then, to take refuge in the Buddha? And how is this practiced?
The Nature of True Refuge
Going for Refuge implies going for True Refuge. This means that we renounce False Refuges - things and pursuits that we think will save us, but ultimately do not have the power to be liberative in any lasting way. A False Refuge might include our physical health, beauty, careers, wealth, real estate, relationships, social status, a political cause, a worldly accomplishment… All these things may be worthy of praise and appreciation, but remain impermanent. We all know stories of people who “have it all” but remain deeply tormented, lonely and dissatisfied.